The Irish writer Flann O’Brien, beloved by many of us, wrote a column in The Irish Times for many years under yet another of his names, Myles na gCopaleen (Myles of the Little Horses). The column often outlined novel technological solutions to various infrastructural problems confronting his nation.
The other day in Sydney I was inspired by a truly Mylesian solution to a current urban transit problem. I noticed, as I rode the long escalator up from the lowest level at Town Hall Station, that I was in a minority of travellers willing to let the device do all the work. It was about eleven a.m. and so not a peak hour. Yet many of the riders were either bounding, hopping or striding up past me to get to the top faster than the conveyance would otherwise convey them. They were of all ages and sizes, all in the grip of impatience with the escalator status quo, super-keen to get wherever they were going. The phenomenon is city-wide, noticeable everywhere. In the downwards direction as well, especially if there’s a train involved. Such is modern life!
I wondered, given the pervasiveness of Gym Culture in our era, whether many pedestrians can no longer even comprehend a conveyor moving under them to which they do not make their own energetic contribution.
So what to do? The standard escalator, when you think about it, is very old hat. The first working model was introduced at Coney Island Park in New York in 1896, though the basic concept was around for decades before that. But everywhere you go in the world you will still find the same general arrangement, an Up side and a Down side, more or less in proximity.
My idea is this. An elaboration of the old format in tune with modern needs and consumer range of choice.
Tri-partism. Why not design each side as a three-lane entity? On the left a Rapid Lane, so bracingly fast that its superfit riders will be whizzed up – or down – and then propelled out onto the concourse with such conviction that no rider could not feel well on the way to her destination already. Then in the middle a Standard or Just Standing There Lane, similar to the current norm for those with conservative escalator instincts – probably quite numerous for some time to come. And on the right a Sedate or Glacial Lane, to attract back into our cities all those older and frail folk who have become leery of the urban rat-race, or in fact for anyone who wants to take a moment off.
For this Sedate Lane one could even provide a social landing, separately mounted alongside it half-way up or down, equipped with bolted-on chairs and a capsule coffee machine. Here one could stop off for a while and enjoy a chat with friends, read one’s phone in safety or just watch the interesting world go by.
Depending on, shall we say, popular uptake, the Rapid Lane terminus could be extended by a mini- steam catapult, as used on aircraft carriers, for an even more exhilarating entry into the daily round of civic activity. There would of course be a need for clear electronic signage with this new design, particularly to avoid unpleasant law-suits: e.g., if someone not quite fit happened to take the Rapid and was injured by the de rigueur velocities at the end of it. Nor, on the other hand, would a standard but absent-minded pacer be very happy if she by accident found herself in the Sedate Lane, and more or less had to walk up to the exit.
I’m sure we’d take these changes in our stride. They might even transport themselves, eventually, into our language of moods: How are you feeling today? Rapid-esque? Stand-esque? Sed-esque?